A while means that I'll wish you Happy new year in March. Yes, this is my first 2013. post. Shame on me, and what happened in these 3 months?
Well, what can you do on island in winter time?
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
When can you do it?
ALL THE FUCKING TIME!
:frustrations:
I got fat, that happened, but that is not interesting or fun or anything. There are some fun things in my life
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiuHdUkuRi0but who would like to read about someone's love life, especially not knowing who is he even reading about.
Maybe I've stopped writing here because I've realized I don't have much to write about. That's kind of sad when you think about fact that I'm only 18 years old and that I should be living crazy high school life.
I put energy all in on weekends it's only period when something unexpected can happen in my life. During the week my whole town lives in some kind of vicious circle. Everyday everything is same. I get up at same hour, leave house at same hour, meet same people while walking to school, stand in school with same 150 pupils, go to same cafe for same coffee with same people everyday and so on. Bleh, I'm exaggerating. It's not that bad, I'm just sometimes wondering what kind of person would I be if I Was living somewhere else.
Maybe this should be the end of the post. :)
I'll keep you posted about my funfun life from now on, cross my heart and hope to die.
And since I've already mentioned that crazy feeling that I don't know how to talk about, here's a lovely fact. :)
I've never been thinking that maybe I could try writing about it since I can't talk about it with people around me. I'll give a try one day.
There's just so much pressure, so much pain, so much hatred and I have no one to talk about it. It's just like it has been accumulating in me for past few years and now my body it's so full of it that there's no place anymore. Since I've never learned how to show my emotions to other people I have to leave them in my room when I walk out. It seems as if I leave them behind my doors so no one can see them and when I get back they just jump back on me, pull me to the ground and don't let me stand up until I have to leave house again. I have a perfect mask for walking around my school, going on coffee, walking around my town, going to buy another pack of cigarettes. That's probably due to so much acting that I'm fine. Maybe it's a good thing, no one knows what's going on therefore no one is concerned and worried. It's just up to me how much time can I do this until it explode. Sometimes when I'm with my friends, it s just like I'm lost, like I don't know anyone and then I stare at them pretending that everything they say is funny, and that everything is great while I'm thinking to myself "I want to run away" and it sad. Just like Nicole, cut off.
